No magic at the highest level

The beautiful silver-lining of a tough World Championships

I’ve always been someone with a lot of hope. I always believed that something big was possible. And I still do.

Call me a dreamer, but I do think hope and belief hold the power of making us reach further and accomplish more.

That said, I realized this weekend that, in sport at the highest level, you can hope, but there is no magic. You cannot fake riding at the highest level of the sport.

And in a way, that is the silver lining of this World Championships.

Photo by @billy_lebelge

The last few months, my preparation was far from perfect. Yet, as the World Championships drew closer, I believed that maybe I could have a good day and battle at the “front-ish” of the race. I felt a lot of gratitude for being there, I felt a lot of love for the sport, and I thought that maybe these strong emotions could help me find something in me that would allow me to compete at a high level. But it didn’t. I showed up at Worlds and I finished 26th. I was in contention for top 20 when I had a massive crash that really took me out. It took me a long time to get back on the bike and I only managed to slowly complete the laps to make it to the finish after the crash.

But it’s no bad luck that I crashed…I spent so little time on my cyclocross bike in the last few months that my skills weren’t on par with the best in the world. I made a mistake in the descent because I wasn’t in tune enough with my bike to catch it, and I paid for it. And the reason I couldn’t follow the speed? I simply wasn’t good enough. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty fit. I was good, but I wasn’t great. And if you want to compete at that level, good doesn’t cut it.

Am I disappointed? Yes. Of course we all hope to finish the season on a high note. Of course I hoped and dreamed and believed that a magical day could happen. But today I learned that no, magic does not happen in high-level sports. When success comes, it’s because it is earned, not granted. Success comes from going all in on your preparation. It comes from being physically, technically, and mentally at the top of your game. It requires everything you have. And then, maybe you have a chance to fight at the front when it counts. And that is what makes sports beautiful.

Photo by @billy_lebelge

When we watch pro sports, the best athletes make it look easy. But I can assure you that the ease they portray on the bike, the skills they show, the power and the composure they have — it’s not given. They have worked, and practiced, and worked some more to make it become second nature.

And if I’m honest, I did not have that these last few months. I did not have the flow in the turns, the ease in the descents, the speed in the legs, the accelerating power or the quick feet on the run up. Even my reflexes were not as sharp. I know, because I have been there before (I was even there earlier this fall), and I know I didn’t have it now.

For many years, I competed and fought in the top 10 and sometimes top 5 or top 3 of these races. Most of the time, I took it for granted. This was my level and I wanted more. And while I am a bit disappointed in my race this weekend, this experience offers me a new gift. I have finally gained an appreciation and pride for all those times where I did compete at the front of these races. I’m realizing now how great of a feat it is to be in the 10 or the 5 best riders in the World. The level is no joke and everyone who competes at that level has my deepest respect. And I guess, maybe I can finally have that same respect for what I also accomplished over all those years.

I’m on my way home now and reflecting on the last season. I cried a lot when I crossed the finish line. But weirdly, despite my poor performance, they weren’t sad tears. I was just grateful to be there. Grateful to have made it to the last race of the season when I did not have that chance last year. Grateful to have my people around me. Grateful for this sport and what it has given me.

Sports sure has a way to bring emotions. Photo 1 by David Andres Photography

Last spring, I didn’t even know if I would race this cyclocross season. But I did and I’m so glad I did. I may not have accomplished anything spectacular on the world’s stage, but I believe I found my best a few times during the season; at Nationals or at a few of the UCI races I did, and that satisfies me. I also really felt the love for the sport, which means more to me than anything else.

So I’m flying home with a smile and a lot of gratitude. I’m grateful I gave myself a shot at trying this season, and I’m proud of what David and I accomplished with our CX Fever Tour, our racing, and the book I wrote to share this passion.

Thank you all for following along! You all make this journey more special.

And a special thank you to all my sponsors who made it happen this year. Support in cyclo-cross is not what it once was, but these people still believe in the sport and they have stood by me all season, through success and struggle. THANK YOU. I’ve included a list of who they are below.

Thanks everybody for this season! Photo @billy_lebelge

SRAM, ZIPP, Quarq, Hammerhead.
Chris McGovern at Seeker Bikes.
The Unscented Co. for always having my back.
Fizik
Velocolour
Bike Tires Direct and Challenge Tires.
XPedo pedals.
Krono Nutrition
Rex Bike products
Julbo canada and Eye Am Clinics
Jakroo clothing
L’Empreinte et Luc Janson.
Partenaires Conseils.
Enso Mental Performance for helping me to find the strength to give this season a shot.
Hestra Gloves.

And of course to David for always being there, to my parents, my sister, and brother in law.
To team Canada for the fun week.
And many more.

Some good moments with special people this week...including making the most of doping control to spend quality time with friends & colleagues.